Production Details:After basic KIT construction,
the unit undergoes six weeks of on site ROM programming and burn-in
testing. Listed features are installed during this period. Since MOM CAT
uses local suppliers, there may be variations between units.
Transportation: A suitable transportation
case should be used for transportation to the operating site.
Failure to properly ship a CAT unit may result in loss or damage to
the unit and/or serious injury to the end user.
Installation Procedures: Upon receiving the CAT
unit, the user should examine the unit to verify that all I/O channels
are operational. Look for minor bugs in or on the system. Bugs are
indiCATive of the MOM CAT production environment. The user may
manually remove any bugs.
Bring the CAT to operation in an environment temperature at 70°F
(±3° tolerance). Use a quiet room with the primary user(s)
present. Open the transportation case and let the CAT unit
autoexit. Initialize the self learning program Katfind® by
displaying the input bins. These should contain H2O (liquid state,
room temperature, 99% purity) and dry energy pellets. Immediately
afterwards, display the output bin.
If the user already has a CAT unit successfully installed, it may
be possible to transfer BASIC routines to the new CAT. For the
first day or two, the CAT will stay in self learning mode. When
the learn buffer overflows, the CAT will autoswitch to sleep
mode. This is normal. The MMU system will store the new
information to permanent memory. After 72 hours, the CAT will be
interacting with the operating environment.
The unit may be placed in direct sunlight. CAT units are
operational in all axis: standing, sitting, or laying down. If all
basic environment requirements are satisfied, the CAT system will
produce a slight hum. This is normal.
A new CAT should not exit the primary site facility. Full
portability comes after extensive burn in. Some users never let
the CAT unit autoexit the site. The advantages are longer unit
life and fewer bugs. Contact with pirate CAT units may lead to
unplanned BATCH iteration. Contact with untested CATs may lead to
virus infection. If allowed to exit, fatal errors may happen. If you decide
to let your CAT out, it should have a READ_ME.TXT file with a system
address and URL which identifies the host site.
Your CAT should have a system name. The name may need to be
reinitialized repeatedly until the system can read it correctly.
This lets you issue voice commands to bring the unit to an online
state. Many owners give their CAT's a secret password as well. You
can also get the CAT's attention by booting the system. While this
is effective, it is discouraged.
AppliCATions: At present, there are few productivity
appliCATions for CAT.
MOUSE is a killer app. This is pre-installed.
Most owners use their system for game playing. CATs play best
when they are new. Older units suffer a system timing decay which
leads to reduced response and flexibility. Some CAT games are:
- The CAT will CACHE a data string. Similar to the K9 unit
game, but the object must be smaller.
- Move the data string through the air. The CAT unit will reach
new heights of operation.
- Place the unit in front of a mirror and watch it attempt to
parse itself. Some units may ESCape. Reboot the system by
calling its name.
- Played between two CAT units or a CAT and a K9 unit. Units
take turns as one is the data and the other attempts to parse
- DANCE and SING
- Offer fishy data code to elicit a range of audio output.
Maintenance: CATs will self-recharge. This takes
20 hours in a 24 hour cycle.
CATs are self cleaning and require little user maintenance. Do not
clean the unit with alcohol or benzene-based solvents. This may
lead to a violent explosion.
A CAT unit should be taken once a year to a VET for a system checkup.
Do not attempt to open a CAT. There are no user serviceable parts
inside. If a unit emits unusual smells or sounds, it should be
serviced immediately by a VET.
You may examine the CAT system to determine if it has a male or
female SCSI port. If the port is male, then the CAT unit may
emit a non-toxic aerosol. The VET can remove this component. CATs
with female ports are plagued by periodic heating problems. The
VET can fix this permanently by removing an internal part. Such
systems should run UNIX.
Warning Notices: CAT systems are normally user
friendly. However, in certain documented situations, a CAT may pose
a danger to the user. Repeated jamming or obstruction of I/O ports
may lead to deployment of auto-defense systems. Never attempt a first
strike on a CAT system. Its CPU clock rate made to mil specs and thus classified, but JANE'S FIGHTING FELINES notes that a unit was seen
by ham radio operators to be apparently moving at 500 MHz. Twin
D-shaped five-pin connectors have an average seek rate of 3
nanoseconds. The manufacturer is not responsible for injuries to
Children should not poke anything into the CAT's I/O ports. CAT
In dry, cold weather, a surface electrostatic charge may build up.
To avoid electric shock, stand on an insulated surface.
Do not operate the CAT above water. This may lead to end-user
Carry the CAT firmly. Do not swing it by its "tail."
If you properly care for your CAT, it will give
you years of loyal service. Many users get a second unit, to enjoy
the ability to run complex simulation games.
User Groups: CAT users can find
other users and FAQ on the Usenet Newsgroup: rec.pets.cats.
Lifetime Warranty: The CAT unit is
guaranteed against CATastrophic failure. Nine coupons are included.
Documented Problems: The Ctrl key
on most CAT units is defective.
This may lead to serious performance problems.
Do not install a BIRD unit at a site which has an operational CAT
unit. These tend to disappear.
Models: Main frame, desktop and laptop models (smallest
footprint in the industry). Available in 15 inch, 17 inch, and
19 inch sizes.
Interface: Touch sensitive interface for maximum user
Memory: Not much. Upgrades available real soon now.
Expected Lifetime: 15 years (although 20 years is common).
Weight: 10 to 16 lbs... without optional cables.
Speed: 3 nanoseconds search/find with self-uprighting
Color Graphics: Either paper white, monochrome
(black/white), 64 gray shades, or maximum of 16 million
colors with 40 terrabits of high resolution floating point
Sound Chip: 16 octaves, digital MIDI output (MI/OU).
Power Consumption: 250 grams protein daily (2 micrograms
Operating Range: -22° to +105°F
Vibration: 5-500 Hz, one octave/min, dwell at all resonance
Contacting CAT Technical Support: Our highly trained technicians are ready to help you. As soon as they wake up from their nap.
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