- DON'T let your dog sleep in your bed. It will cause aggression
problems down the road.
- DON'T make your dog sleep in a crate. Crate is just another
word for small cage.
- DON'T let your dog sleep outside at night. If God had wanted
dogs to sleep outside, he would have covered their body with hair
to keep them warm.
- DON'T let your dog sleep. You should be playing with him all
- DON'T keep more than two dogs. Each individual dog requires
considerable time and energy, and it is impossible for a
dog owner to spend quality time with more than two
- DON'T keep less than five dogs. Dogs are pack animals
and five dogs is the minimum number for proper socialization.
- DON'T feed your dog kibble. Kibble is the invention of evil
capitalists who want your money, and kibble has no nutritional
whatsoever. You might as well feed your dog sawdust.
- DON'T cook your dog's meat or chicken. Cooking destroys all
- DON'T feed your dog raw meat or raw chicken. Raw food
salmonella, e-coli, and other harmful bacteria.
- DON'T let your dog drink out of a plastic bowl. It will turn
- DON'T post messages to a dog list. You will surely get bopped
head for thinking that someone else cares about your
- DON'T poke your eye with a sharp stick. It has nothing to do
dogs, but it's a good rule nonetheless.
- DON'T microchip your dog. A nearby cell phone can cause a
microchipped dog to explode, or so says the lady running the
- DON'T tattoo your dog on the ear. A dog thief will cut off
- DON'T tattoo your dog on the thigh. He'll be a tripod before
- DON'T keep a collar on your dog when unattended. He could
on something and choke.
- DON'T leave your dog unattended without a collar. He could
without any identification.
- DON'T transport your dog in a plastic crate. Plastic crates
allow sufficient air flow.
- DON'T transport your dog in a wire crate. In a car accident,
crate transforms into a doggie skewer. On days you
plan to have a
car accident, it's acceptable to use a plastic
- DON'T let your dog drive. It's against the law in many states.
- DON'T enter your dog in conformation. It's b-o-r-i-n-g for
- DON'T enter your dog in obedience. It's B-o-r-i-n-g with a
- DON'T enter your dog in agility. The jumps will injure his joints.
- DON'T send your dog out with a handler. Only a psychopath
send their beloved pet with a complete stranger.
- DON'T handle your dog yourself. You've got a great dog and
he deserves a much better handler than you will ever be.
- DON'T get a purebred dog. Too much inbreeding has produced
temperament and health problems.
- DON'T get a mutt. You don't know anything about their
fact, if you're thinking about getting a dog, get a
- DON'T don't. That's right, you heard me, just don't!
- DON'T leave your dog's dewclaws intact. He will rip one off
a log or something, which is quite painful.
- DON'T remove your dog's dewclaws. Dewclaws are acupuncture
that are needed for proper functioning of the kidneys.
AND the #1 DON'T ....
- DON'T trim your dog's whiskers. Dogs use their whiskers to
the size of their head, which is important when they
are out shopping for a new hat.
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