EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."

 

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The Top 15 Signs Your Dog
Has Been Replaced By a Robot Dog

 

15. No longer has any problem typing. In fact, he's posted naked
pictures of your cat on the Web.
14. "Fetch!" "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave."
13. Refuses to pee on Al Gore out of professional courtesy.
12. Playful "mailman's here" yap replaced by maniacal paw-flapping
"Warning, Jim Rosenberg, Warning!"
11. Shorts out every time he licks himself.
10. After he's mangled in a terrible explosion, his one-armed torso
still pursues the mailman.
  9. Routinely kicks your sorry Mensa ass at chess.
  8. When you fake throwing a ball for him to fetch, you hear,
"Projectile Analysis Module reports error Division By Zero --
Aborting!"
  7. He not only chases cars, he catches them, drags them back, and
buries them in the front yard.
  6. Pages you when little Timmy falls down the old well.
  5. Frequently eats documents left lying around the house, presses
tail into phone jack, and leaves you with expensive long-distance
phone bills to China.
  4. Three words: "Yo quiero Pennzoil."
  3. Tell-tale oil stains when he drags his butt across the carpet.
  2. No longer wants to hump your leg, but your vacuum cleaner is
pregnant.

 

And Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Your
Dog Has Been Replaced By a Robot Dog...

 

  1. Run-in with the invisible fence makes for the greatest Fourth of
July spectacle the town's ever seen.

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