A local business was looking for office help.
They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP
WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw
the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail,
then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The
office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However,
the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog
jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.
The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you
have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter
and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted
over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The
manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have
to be good with a computer."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog
proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced
a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By
this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and
said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some
interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his
paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.
The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be
The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."
15. No longer has any problem typing. In fact, he's posted naked
pictures of your cat on the Web.
14. "Fetch!" "I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave."
13. Refuses to pee on Al Gore out of professional courtesy.
12. Playful "mailman's here" yap replaced by maniacal
"Warning, Jim Rosenberg, Warning!"
11. Shorts out every time he licks himself.
10. After he's mangled in a terrible explosion, his one-armed torso
still pursues the mailman.
9. Routinely kicks your sorry Mensa ass at chess.
8. When you fake throwing a ball for him to fetch, you hear,
"Projectile Analysis Module reports error Division By Zero --
7. He not only chases cars, he catches them, drags them back,
buries them in the front yard.
6. Pages you when little Timmy falls down the old well.
5. Frequently eats documents left lying around the house,
tail into phone jack, and leaves you with
phone bills to China.
4. Three words: "Yo quiero Pennzoil."
3. Tell-tale oil stains when he drags his butt across the carpet.
2. No longer wants to hump your leg, but your vacuum cleaner is
And Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Your
Dog Has Been Replaced By a Robot Dog...
1. Run-in with the invisible fence makes for the greatest
July spectacle the town's ever seen.
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