How Many Dogs Does it Take To Change a Light Bulb?

 

Afghan:
Light bulb? What light bulb?

Australian Shepherd
Put all the bulbs in a little circle ...

Beagle:
Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I ate was a light bulb?

Border Collie:
Just one? And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Chihuahua
Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Cocker Spaniel:
Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Dachshund:
I can't reach the stupid lamp!

Doberman Pinscher:
While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Greyhound
It isn't moving. Who cares?

Golden Retriever:
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

Hound Dog
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Irish Wolfhound
Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.

Labrador:
Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb!!! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Mastiff:
Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Malamute:
Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Pointer
I see it! There it is! Right there!

Rottweiller:
Go Ahead! Make me!

Shitzu:
Puh-leeez, dahling. I have servants for that kind of thing.

Toy Poodle:
I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Cat:
You need light to see?

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TOP 10 REASONS YOU KNOW MARTHA STEWARD IS STALKING YOUR DOG

10. There's potpourri hanging from his/her collar.

 9. The dog's nails have been cut with pinking shears.

 8. The dog toys are all stored in McCoy crocks.

 7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia.

 6. That telltale lemon slice in the new silver water bowl.

 5. You find liver and whole wheat dog treats stamped out with
copper cookie cutters and decorated with royal icing using a
#2 rosette tip.

 4. Dog hair has been collected and put into wire baskets for nesting
material for the birds.

 3. A seasonally appropriate grapevine wreath adorns the front
of your dog's crate.

 2. Your dog goes outside naked and comes in wearing a thyme
colored virgin wool hand knitted sweater with matching boots.

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY YOU KNOW THAT MARTHA STEWART IS STALKING YOUR DOG IS...

 1. The dog droppings in your backyard have been sculpted into swans.

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For more dog humor, click on a number below.

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