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You Know You Are a Dog Person When...


gold square You have a kiddie wading pool in the yard, but no small children.

gold square Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week.

gold square You have baby gates permanently installed at strategic places
clear iconaround the house, but no babies.

gold square The trash basket is more or less permanently installed in the
clear iconkitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it while you're at work.

gold square You refer to yourselves as Mommy and Daddy.

gold square Your dog sleeps with you.

gold square Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your
clear iconsignificant other.

gold square You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there
clear iconare nose-prints all over the inside.

gold square You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but
clear iconshe understands.

gold square Your dog eats cat poop, but you still let her kiss you (but not
clear iconimmediately afterward, of course).

gold square You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't.

gold square You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times.

gold square You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their kid.

gold square You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas cards from your
clear icondog.

gold square You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog can be
clear iconcomfortable.

gold square You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle your dog than
clear icongo to the movies with your sweetie.

gold square You go to the pet supply store every Saturday because it's one of
clear iconthe very few places that lets you bring your dog inside, and your
clear icondog loves to go with you.

gold square You open your purse, and that big bunch of baggies you use for
clear iconpick-ups pops out.

gold square You get an extra-long hose on your shower-massage just so you can
clear iconuse it to wash your dog in the tub, without making the dog sit
clear iconhip-deep in water.

gold square You and the dog come down with something like flu on the same day.
clear iconYour dog sees the vet while you settle for an over-the-counter
clear iconremedy from the drugstore.

gold square Your dog is getting old and arthritic, so you go buy lumber and build
clear iconher a small staircase so she can climb onto the bed by herself.

gold square Your license plate or license plate frame mentions your dog.

gold square You don't think it's the least bit strange to stand in the back yard
clear iconchirping "Meg, pee!" over and over again, while Meg tends to play
clear iconand forget what she's out there for (but what your neighbors think
clear iconof your behavior is yet another story).

gold square You match your furniture/carpet/clothes to your dog.

gold square You have your dog's picture on your office desk (but no one else's).

gold square You lecture people on responsible dog ownership every chance you
clear iconget.

gold square You skip breakfast so you can walk your dog in the morning before
clear iconwork.

gold square You are the only idiot walking in the pouring rain because your dog
clear iconneeds her walk.

gold square You don't go to happy hours with co-workers any more because you
clear iconneed to go home and see your dog.

gold square Your friend's dog acts as Best Dog at your wedding.

gold square Your weekend activities are planned around taking your dog for a
clear iconhike (both days).

gold square You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor bedroom, in case
clear iconyour dog gets thirsty at night (after all, her other dish is way down
clear iconon the first floor...).

gold square Your freezer contains more dog bones than anything else.

gold square You never completely finish a piece of steak or chicken (so your dog
clear icongets a taste, too).

gold square You shovel a zigzag path in the back yard snow so your dog can
clear iconreach all her favorite spots.

gold square You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because your dog
clear iconis afraid of the vacuum cleaner.

gold square You keep eating even after finding a dog hair in your pasta.

gold square You make popcorn just to play catch with your dog.

gold square You carry pictures of your dog in your wallet instead of pictures of
clear iconyour parents, siblings, significant other, or anyone else remotely
clear iconhuman.

gold square Your dog is the star of your World Wide Web site!

gold square Your parents refer to your pet as their granddog.

gold square You hang around the dog section of your local bookstore.

gold square Your jewelry box contains no jewels... just those fasteners from clear iconvari-kennels.

gold square Every time you read the name Bob, you think the guy's first name
clear iconis Best of Breed.

gold square Your house isn't carpeted--the fuzzy furballs under your feet are
clear iconsoft enough...

gold square Your hungry hubby comes home from work, lifts the cover of the
clear iconpan on the stove and says, "Is this people food or dog food?"

gold square Your hungry hubby once ate the dog food and asked for seconds.

gold square You don't give a second thought to using the brush you just used on
clear iconyour dog to give a quick run through on your own hair.

gold square At your dinner parties, you always double check the butter before
clear iconputting it on the table.

gold square You put important papers in your latest issue of your breed
clear iconmagazine you know you will find them there.

gold square You have dog hair stuck on tape on wrapped gifts.

gold square You have dog toys and treats in your briefcase.

gold square You have several albums filled with the 8 by 10 pictures of your
clear icondogs but you can't locate any pictures of your kids to send to
clear icongrandma.

gold square You show up at the car dealers with a ruler, to measure and see if
clear iconyour big dog crate will fit. Before the actual purchase you make
clear iconthe dealer cringe by insisting that you load both crates and dog
clear iconinto the shinny, new vehicle to make sure it works!

gold square You can't get the groceries in the car because its
clear icon A) already full of dog food
clear icon B) you have that big old crate in there.

gold square You visit relatives only if there is a dog show nearby.

gold square You remove all the seats from the van except the two in the
clear iconfront so you have room for crates...

gold square The passenger seat is full of dog stuff.

gold square You cringe at the price of food in the grocery store but think
clear iconnothing of the cost of dog food or treats.

gold square You have six squeaky hedgehogs... but only 1 with a squeaky that
clear iconworks.

gold square You put popcorn in the clean dog dish for movie night.

gold square You pull out your credit card and little bits of liver are stuck
clear iconto it...

gold square When you get your latest roll of film and there isn't a single
clear iconpicture of a two-legged person in it...

gold square People at work have stopped offering you their lint brushes; they
clear iconrealize it is a hopeless case.

For more dog humor, click on a number below.
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