TOP 20 REASONS DOGS DON'T
USE COMPUTERS

21. Distracted by cats chasing the mouse.

20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '98.

19. Fetch command not available on all platforms.

18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to
one side.

17. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.

16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear
"You've Got Mail."

15. Fire hydranticon simply frustrating.

14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.

13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that virtual Frisbee.

12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.

11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that
signifies tail-wagging.

10. Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.

 9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.

 8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...

 7. Barking in next cubical keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.

 6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.

 5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, DELETE and SAVE
are out of the question!

 4. Saliva coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.

 3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.

 2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online
chat rooms.

And the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...

 1. TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE ("Too
hard to type with paws!")

Source: David Letterman Show

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