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Dog Show Terms Explained!

brown square Angulation-Degree to which dog handlers will bend over
clear iconbackwards to impress judges. blue ribbon

brown square Balance-
clear icon(a) How to arrange the checkbook so your
clear iconhusband won't know how much money you spent
clear iconon dog shows last month. Usually done in the
clear iconbathroom with the door locked;
clear icon(b) Ability to hold coffee, danish, leash, treats and entry
clear iconform all at once.

brown square Bitch-
clear icon(a) Name for a lady dog;
clear icon(b) Name often heard at dog shows, not always to describe
clear icona lady dog.

brown square Blind Retrieve-When you can't see the toy under the
clear iconfurniture.

brown square CGC-Canine Gastrointestinal Catastrophe {aka GAS}

brown square Coat-The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out
clear iconabout one week before the Specialty show.

brown square Crabbing-What you do when the judge doesn't like way
clear iconyour dog moves.

brown square Dam-
clear icon(a) lady dog with children;
clear icon(b) expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers
clear iconleave the ring.

brown square Distemper-Shown by those hot-headed competitors.

brown square Dog-To chase a judge from show to show in an effort to
clear iconattain more breed wins.

brown square Double Bind-Finding two toys under the furniture.

brown square Elbow-Method ribbon icon of getting to ringside when late.

brown square Expression-"Sweet" look adopted by dogs while
clear iconstaring ravenously at chunks of liver.

brown square Fancier-Degree to which some gentlemen
clear iconhandlers dress more than others.

brown square Feathering-What winners are accused of doing to judges'
clear iconnests.

brown square FlyBall-Neutering.

brown square Force Fetch-Dog drops the toy under furniture, scratches
clear iconat the carpet until you're forced to "fetch" it.

brown square Front-Part of the dog often stacked toward the outside
clear iconof the ring.

brown square Guard Hair-An activity in which one watches intently as
clear iconthe dog's hair falls out, in clumps, just after entries are
clear iconmailed.

brown square Heel-
clear icon(a) what you feel like when your dog beats the one you had
clear iconjust sold to an eager novice;
clear icon(b) expression often screamed to attract the attention of
clear icondeaf dogs.

brown square Height-As in "Maximum Allowed," a measurement which all
clear iconchampions fall under by AT LEAST 1/8 of an inch.

brown square Hock-A way of financing your dog shows by the use of
clear iconjewelry such as wedding rings.

brown square Kennel-Where you go when the kids fight and your husband
clear iconyells at you.

brown square Litter-Trash left all over the building and parking lot
clear iconafter a dog show.

brown square Mask-What to wear when you have to show the pet you
clear iconsold six months ago. ribbon icon

brown square Multi-Generational Pedigree-Something you
clear iconshould have read first.

brown square Muzzle-What to put on your kids at a dog show
clear iconto prevent them from calling your competition
clear iconwhat they overheard you call him last night.

brown square Noseprints-Cute marks left all over your French doors.

brown square Outcrossing-What your husband tells the minister you are
clear icondoing out in the kennel with the dog and the bitch.

brown square Overshot-Running so fast as to pass the 1st place ring
clear iconmarker and plow into the judge and the stewards.

brown square Pedigree-Dog food with lots of great coupons.

brown square Points-Minute, invisible awards for winning which you
clear iconcannot convince your spouse are more important than cash
clear iconprizes.

brown square Puppies-Small, dog like food-processing machines with the
clear iconability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen
clear icona band of magpies. (These creatures have not yet been
clear iconperfected, as they come with leaky systems, and can also
clear iconbe dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts.)

brown square Qualifying Score-Justifying the 170.5 you got in
clear iconobedience today.

brown square Ribbons-What you want to cut the other exhibitors into,
clear iconafter their pet wins.

brown square Specialty-Whatever your dog is good at, like bringing
clear iconhome dead cats or chewing on walls.

brown square Type-What your dog has... if you turn down the lights and
clear iconsquint a little.

brown square Utility-The kind of vehicle you need to haul around your
clear icondogs.

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Top 10 Reasons to Breed Dogs


10. Thought the house was too orderly
  9. Never did like having a full nights sleep
  8. Wanted my Vet to get a new BMW
  7. Thought the furniture looked too nice
  6. Love the sounds of puppies in the morning, noon, afternoon, clear iconevening, midnight, pre-dawn, etc.
  5. Garden and backyard needed renovations, and didn't want
clear iconto pay a gardener.
  4. Neighbors didn't complain enough
  3. Kids weren't enough of a challenge
  2. If you can train & show one dog, why not ten
  1. Wanted to see if spouse really meant those vows

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