clear icon

14. Invisibath -- The power to disappear at the first sound of
clear iconbath water
13. ViseHump -- The leg hump grip of steel
12. AquaField -- Immunity to bucket of cold water when
clear iconcopulating in driveway
11. Skeetvision-- The ability to shoot laser beams from your
clear iconeyes to blast that damn Frisbee out of the sky
10. SuperBladder -- Loaded with Toxi-Urine -- One lift of the
clear iconleg and this town is mine!
  9. SquirrelFreeze
  8. AnalTelepathy/ButtSniffery -- Two powers which when
clear iconcombined allow one to smell another dog's butt without
clear iconactually having to get up and move around.
  7. John-O-Matic -- Turns any toilet bowl into a punch bowl by
clear iconsheer force of will.
  6. ChuckSpeed -- Ability to catch that friggin' Wagon Train.
  5. Anti-Psych-Out -- Immunity to all that "fake throw"
clear iconnonsense.
  4. VacuCalm -- Utter self-control whenever the vacuum cleaner
clear iconis turned on.
  3. GucciTract -- An invincible digestive system that sustains
clear iconitself entirely on designer shoes.
  2. King Fido's Touch -- Everything you touch turns into crap

And the #1 Super Power Most Coveted by Dogs...

  1. DoberMorph -- Ability to change into a Doberman anytime
clear iconsomeone rolls up a newspaper.

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Wire Fox Icon...are a special breed not usually recognized by the AKC.
Wire Fox Icon...think everyone has dog crates in their living room.
Wire Fox Icon...have messy houses yet their kennels are spotless.
Wire Fox Icon...can always find a show catalog from somewhere within arm's
clear iconreach.
Wire Fox Icon...have kids who know more about the "birds and the bees"
clear iconwhen they're five than most people know when they are 40.
Wire Fox trucks, vans, and station wagons especially equipped
clear iconto haul dog crates.
Wire Fox Icon...can never be reached on a weekend, they're usually at a
clear icondog show.
Wire Fox Icon...will drive 400 miles, spend $100 on gas, $200 on a motel
clear iconand $150 for meals to bring home a 35 cent ribbon.
Wire Fox Icon...have kids who regard "bitch" as just another household
clear iconword.
Wire Fox Icon...have lush, green, beautiful back yards and they've never
clear iconbought a bag of fertilizer.
Wire Fox Icon...get up at 6 AM to walk the dogs, can be at ringside dressed
clear iconto kill at 8 AM, but have trouble getting to work on time.
Wire Fox Icon...will usually give up the $150,000 home in the suburbs to
clear iconmove to a shack on 10 acres so they can have a $150,000
clear iconkennel.
Wire Fox Icon...never miss a closing date for entry fees, but pay the
clear iconmortgage 10 days late.
Wire Fox Icon...had rather be audited by the IRS than investigated by
clear iconthe AKC.
Wire Fox Icon...use dog food bags for trash cans and 30 gallon trash cans
clear iconfor dog food.
Wire Fox for hours on the phone to another dog person in a
clear iconlanguage known only to dog people.
Wire Fox Icon...have parents who think they've lost their minds.
Wire Fox Icon...have dog friends who think they are terrific.
Wire Fox Icon...are crazy.
For more dog humor, click on a number below.
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