Invisibath -- The power to disappear at
the first sound of
ViseHump -- The leg hump grip of steel
12. AquaField -- Immunity to bucket of cold water when
copulating in driveway
Skeetvision-- The ability to shoot laser beams from your
eyes to blast that damn Frisbee out of the sky
SuperBladder -- Loaded with Toxi-Urine -- One lift of the
leg and this town is mine!
AnalTelepathy/ButtSniffery -- Two powers which when
one to smell another dog's butt without
actually having to get up and move around.
John-O-Matic -- Turns any toilet bowl into a punch bowl by
force of will.
ChuckSpeed -- Ability to catch that friggin' Wagon Train.
Anti-Psych-Out -- Immunity to all that "fake throw"
VacuCalm -- Utter self-control whenever the vacuum cleaner
is turned on.
GucciTract -- An invincible digestive system that sustains
entirely on designer shoes.
King Fido's Touch -- Everything you touch turns into crap
And the #1 Super Power Most Coveted by
-- Ability to change into a Doberman anytime
someone rolls up a newspaper.
a special breed not usually recognized by the AKC.
everyone has dog crates in their living room.
messy houses yet their kennels are spotless.
always find a show catalog from somewhere within arm's
kids who know more about the "birds and the bees"
they're five than most people know when they are 40.
- ...drive trucks, vans, and station wagons especially equipped
haul dog crates.
never be reached on a weekend, they're usually at a
- ...will drive 400 miles, spend $100 on gas, $200 on a motel
$150 for meals to bring home a 35 cent ribbon.
kids who regard "bitch" as just another household
lush, green, beautiful back yards and they've never
a bag of fertilizer.
up at 6 AM to walk the dogs, can be at ringside dressed
kill at 8 AM, but have trouble getting to work on time.
usually give up the $150,000 home in the suburbs to
to a shack on 10 acres so they can have a $150,000
miss a closing date for entry fees, but pay the
10 days late.
rather be audited by the IRS than investigated by
dog food bags for trash cans and 30 gallon trash cans
for hours on the phone to another dog person in a
known only to dog people.
parents who think they've lost their minds.
dog friends who think they are terrific.
For more dog humor, click on a number below.
Return to Dog Humor Return to Pet Humor
Got a great pet story or joke?
Please send *MOLLEE* your favorites
to put them on my Pet
© 2013 All rights reserved. Nancee Belshaw. All rights reserved.