MOM'S BROWNIE RECIPE

Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.

Melt 1-cup margarine in saucepan.

Remove teddy bear from oven and tell JR. "no, no."

Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.

Take shortening can away from JR. and clean cupboards.

Measure 1/3-cup cocoa.

Take shortening can away from JR. again and bathe cat.

Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.

Assemble 4 eggs, 2-tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.

Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.

Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line
the call was a mistake.

Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed
from bill.

Measure 1-tsp. salt & a cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.

Let cat out of refrigerator.

Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.

Bake 25 minutes.

Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy.

Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will
sunburn.

Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able
to run away.

FROSTING

Mix the following in saucepan:
1 cup sugar
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1 cup margarine

Take the teddy bear out of the broiler and throw it away-far
away.

Answer the door and meekly explain to nice police officer
that you didn't know JR. had slipped out of the house and
was heading for the street.

Put JR. in playpen.

Add 1/3-cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly
for 2 minutes.

Answer the door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having
stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise
to pay for ruined carpet.

Tie Billy to clothesline.

Remove burned brownies from oven.

Start on dinner!

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