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As told by 5-year-olds to 10-year-olds

 

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?

"Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom."
-- Judy, age 8

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife!"
-- Tom, age 5

 

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -- Mike, age 10

 

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? 

"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." -- Jim, age 10

"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." -- Kelly, age 9

"The rule goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry her and have kids with her. It's the right thing to do." -- Howard, age 8

 

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? 

"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!" -- Lynette, age 9

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -- Kenny, age 7

 

WHY LOVE HAPPENS 

"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular."
-- Jan, age 9

"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." -- Andrew, age 6

"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Harlen, age 8

 

ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE 

"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." -- Roger, age 9

"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Leo, age 7

 

ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE 

"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." -- Jeanne, age 8

"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." -- Brian, age 7

"Beauty is skin deep. But, how rich you are can last a long time."
-- Christine, age 9

 

WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS 

"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them. -- Gavin, age 8

"They are just practicing for when they might have to walk down the aisle someday and do the holy matchimony thing." -- Jennifer, age 9

 

CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE 

"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' is on television." -- Anita, age 6

"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me."
-- Bobby, age 8

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough. -- Regina, age 10

"Love is foolish ... but I still might try it sometime." -- Floyd, age 9

"Yesterday I kissed a girl in a private place ... We were behind a tree."
-- Carey, age 7

 

QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER 

"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." -- Ava, age 8

"Sensitivity don't hurt." -- Robbie, age 8

 

SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU 

"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." -- Del, age 6

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." -- Alonzo, age 9

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French-fries usually works for me." -- Bart, age 9

"Shake you hips and hope for the best." -- Camille, age 9

"Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs ... and don't worry if their parents are right there. -- Manuel, age 8

 

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE? 

"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." -- John, age 9

"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." -- Brad, age 8

"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are...on fire."
-- Christine, age 9

 

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY, "I LOVE YOU" 

"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day." -- Michelle, age 9

 

HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS 

"You learn it right on the spot when the gushy feelings get the best of you." -- Doug, age 7

"It might help to watch soap operas all day." -- Carin, age 9

 

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? 

"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...That's why I stopped doing it." -- Jean, age 10

"I look at kissing like this: Kissing is fine if you like it, but it's a free country and nobody should be forced to do it." -- Dave, age 8

"If it's your mother, you can kiss her anytime. But if it's a new person, you have to ask permission." -- Roger, age 6

"The law says you have to be 18 years old, so I wouldn't mess with that."
-- Curt, age 7

 

REFLECTIONS ON THE NATURE OF LOVE 

"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8

"I know one reason kissing was created. It makes you feel warm all over, and they didn't always have electric heat or fireplaces or even stoves in their houses." -- Gina, age 8

 

HOW DO PEOPLE IN LOVE TYPICALLY BEHAVE? 

"Mooshy ... like puppy dogs ... except puppy dogs don't wag their tails nearly as much." -- Arnold, age 10

"All of a sudden, the people get movies fever so they can sit together in the dark." -- Sherm, age 8

"When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down and they don't get up for at least an hour." -- Wendy, age 8

 

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE 

"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." -- Tom, age 7

"Don't forget your wife's name...That will mess up the love."
-- Erin, age 6

"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." -- Randy, age 8

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