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How Parents See Kids

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tiny purple ballA baby usually wakes up in the weewee hours of the morning.
tiny purple ballA child will not spill on a dirty floor.
tiny purple ballA young child is a noise with dirt on it.
tiny purple ballA youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the
clear iconworld have nothing to do with tires.
tiny purple ballAn unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
tiny purple ballAvenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children.
tiny purple ballCelibacy is not hereditary.
tiny purple ballFamiliarity breeds children.
tiny purple ballFor adult education, nothing beats children.
tiny purple ballGod invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at once.
tiny purple ballGod invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once.
tiny purple ballHaving children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
tiny purple ballHaving children will turn you into your parents.
tiny purple ballIf a child looks like his father, that's heredity; if he looks like a
clear iconneighbor, that's environment.
tiny purple ballIf you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down
clear iconand look comfortable.
tiny purple ballIll-bred children always display their pest manners.
tiny purple ballIt now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his
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tiny purple ballIt rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll
clear iconknow as little as their parents.
tiny purple ballMoney isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
tiny purple ballNever lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
tiny purple ballOne child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many.
tiny purple ballYou can learn many things from how much patience
clear iconyou have.
tiny purple ballSummer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are
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tiny purple ballThe first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob
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tiny purple ballThere are three ways to get things done:
   1) Do it yourself
   2) Hire someone to do it
   3) Forbid your kids to do it
tiny purple ballThere would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop
clear iconwood to keep the television set going.
tiny purple ballThose who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.
tiny purple ballThe best thing to spend on your children is time.

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