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tiny purple ballThere is no such thing as childproofing your house.

tiny purple ballIf you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over
clear iconthem with rollerblades, they can ignite.
tiny purple ballA 4-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a
clear iconcrowded restaurant.
tiny purple ballIf you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is
clear iconnot strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing
clear iconpound puppy underwear and a superman cape. It is strong
clear iconenough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a
clear icon20x20 foot room.
tiny purple ballWhen using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw
clear iconthe ball up a few times before you get a hit.
tiny purple ballA ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
tiny purple ballThe glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a
clear iconbaseball hit by a ceiling fan.
tiny purple ballWhen you hear the toilet flush and the words 'Uh-oh,'
clear iconit's already too late.
tiny purple ballA six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock, even
clear iconthough a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the
clear iconmovies.
tiny purple ballIf you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing
clear iconbaseball shoes, it does not leak -- it explodes.
tiny purple ballA king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2001 All rights reserved. sq
clear iconfoot house 4 inches deep.
tiny purple ballLegos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-
clear iconyear-old. Super glue is forever.
tiny purple ball'Play Dough' and 'microwave' should never be used in the
clear iconsame sentence.
tiny purple ballSmall pets and microwaves are a bad combination.
tiny purple ballTarzan can teach us many things we don't want to know.
tiny purple ballCrayons do not remain solid when stored on a car's
clear icondashboard on a hot summer day.
tiny purple ballNo matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool, you
clear iconstill can't walk on water.
tiny purple ballPool filters do not like Jello-O.
tiny purple ballNo matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
tiny purple ballPuppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
tiny purple ballYou can't trust dogs to watch your food.
tiny purple ballWhen your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush
clear iconyour hair.
tiny purple ballIf your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always
clear iconcatch the second person.
tiny purple ballNever ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
tiny purple ballNever hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
tiny purple ballNever leave a toddler, a furry animal and a a pair of
clear iconscissors alone in the same room.
tiny purple ballPool filters do not like Jello.
tiny purple ballRaising teenagers is like nailing JELLO to a tree.
tiny purple ballYou can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk
tiny purple ballVCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches, although TV
clear iconcommercials show they do.
tiny purple ballGarbage bags do not make good parachutes.
tiny purple ballAlways look in the oven before you turn it on. (That durn
clear iconhamster!)
tiny purple ballPlastic toys do not like ovens.
tiny purple ballThe fire department in San Diego has at least a 5-minute
clear iconresponse time.
tiny purple ballThe spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
clear iconearthworms dizzy.
tiny purple ballIt will, however, make cats dizzy.
tiny purple ballCats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
tiny purple ballDon't flush the toilet when you dad's in the shower.
tiny purple ballNever dare your little brother to paint the family car.
tiny purple ballStay away from prunes.
tiny purple ballNever tell your little brother that you're not going to do
clear iconwhat your mom told you to do.
tiny purple ballNever spit when on a roller coaster.
tiny purple ballWhen you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom
clear iconwhen she's on the phone.
tiny purple ballDon't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball
clear iconbat.
tiny purple ballNever tell your mom her diet's not working.
tiny purple ballWhen your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?"
clear icondon't answer him.
tiny purple ballNever bug a pregnant mom.
tiny purple ballNever ask for anything that costs more than ten dollars
clear iconwhen your parents are doing taxes.
tiny purple ballSleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning.
tiny purple ballWhen you want something expensive, ask your
clear icongrandparents.
tiny purple ballNever smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are
clear icontwitching.
tiny purple ballYou should never take a goldfish for a walk; even on a
clear iconleash.
tiny purple ballWear a hat when feeding seagulls.
tiny purple ballA good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).
tiny purple ballThe best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's
clear iconlap.

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