NAUGHTY REPORTS

Interpretations of the Humorous Kind.

How often have you wished you could get the inside scoop on your favorite person? Maybe the love side of their personality? Maybe the side they don't always wish to show people, the side that is so funny to others? Stop wishing, and start laughing.
Excerpts of each sign from*Naughty Reports*

ARIES: "The word Spirituality and Aries are never used together in the same sentence, at least not on purpose. A Spiritual moment for them is closing another business deal, or just looking marvelous."

TAURUS: "Taurean people make up their minds at the speed of mud. It will happen, but not in this lifetime. You will be too old to care anymore, especially if it involves commitments."

GEMINI: "The Key Phrase for the Gemini native is: 'I know what I want, I think!', and that is about as far as the process goes."

CANCER: "When you marry or court this Moon in Cancer native, expect to have the phone line embedded somewhere in their body which is directly attached to a receiver on their mothers person somewhere."

LEO: "Leos hate to compete, mainly because they are having too good a time and prefer doing nothing. It's an automatic 'You win, let's party' situation."

VIRGO: "Virgo people to have the dinner table cleaned, and dishes washed, as soon as your fork hits the plate, before or after attempting to eat. There is nothing quite like sitting down to the dinner table in surgical garb, plastic gloves and a hair net, to create just the right atmosphere."

LIBRA: "If by the second date you are not discussing marriage, you will be replaced by someone who is. As they get older, they usually get a grip on this tendency, by about the 5th or 6th marriage."

SCORPIO: "Typical Scorpios can be so secretive, that most of the time they don't even tell themselves what is going on!"

SAGITTARIUS: "A Sagittarius communicating to the world is like Tarzan jumping out of a tree, as they have the same impact. They are loud, argumentative, and have the grace of a Hippo stepping on a cantaloupe."

CAPRICORN: "When choosing a long time relationship Capricorn, choose someone who has been dead for at least 50 years. Capricorns are so controlled, that they may actually die a statue, trouble is, no one may know the difference."

AQUARIUS: "The Aquarian personality and makeup is so unique that they can have a relationship with someone whether they are actually present or not."

PISCES: "Known to get lost without ever leaving the house. Pisces can go out on a date in their car and return home on a boat, having no idea that they didn't leave on a boat to begin with."

Humorous Naughty Report makes a good gift or practical joke! This report pokes fun especially at the romantic side of a person. It will keep you laughing for hours especially because it is so accurate. About 5 pages.

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